inner part of myself?

sometime, i really confuse that what i really need....
sometime, i can't make a decision and get myself stuck inside there...
sometime, i don't really understand myself, even recognize my own self...
i wondering why i will suffer for all this
is that the thing that will be go through a life?
or i just a normal person, too normal person to understand what is life real meaning
if all the person know who i am...
and i believe all of them say that i like to 'blow water' a, 'sell fish' a, or such thing like that...
and i do believe i act like that sometime....
because of this, i become lack of confidence, lack of humor, and become 'la ta' a...
i have see through all my weakness
should i change those bad habit?
it sometime really hard to make the decision...
i have think that inner is the hardest thing to change...
if i don't change it now, i might be regret for my whole life...

therefore, at the end
i will try to change
change as much as possible...
let those people see a different of me
only inner, about outer i not very sure can change
but, i believe many people will tell me their formula to become 'pretty' again... hehez
what i can say here
i will try my best to achieve it
and i will not try to let those people that believe i can down...

hereby, i wish all the people who read this passage and would like to change themselves also
will achieve their dream.... make your dream become your life, make it more challenging...
so, Gambateh... and strike for it