wat am i exatly????

what am i exactly?
sometimes, i really got think that am i a monster?
a beast?
or just a normal human being his life without any meaning
i just don't know how to describe myself
maybe i spend my life too simple already
let the time just pass without caring anyone feel
especially to the person u like
everybody also have his/her own feeling...
sad... happy...
but i just dint notice about this every time
when i notice about it,
the person that i care always,
the person that i love,
will getting hurt by my stupid action
sometimes, i really disappointed to myself
i have think that maybe i can do something to pay off the thing that i have done
especially the person that i hurt the most

i have wondering that is that human life is like that?
hurting people around u
protecting the person that u like
is that the real side of our world?

i think that i better stop writing here...
become more moody

tiring day

today is the most tiring day among this week....
i been busy from morning until night....
dunno wat i been busy about...
aih....
morning, i go to my aunt house to do some bussiness
around 3 pm,
i go play badminton vf my dear frenz....
around 5 pm,
i go for basketball....
for the keep on to my keep fit plan.... :-)
night,
i fetch my lovely mom to my aunt house again
i feel like today i cant take a single breath today....
is it be like this until the end of my life???
better not so....
if not, it will bring my life shorter and shorter....
i still want to enjoy my life....
dont make my life too complicated......

the end :-)

inner part of myself?

sometime, i really confuse that what i really need....
sometime, i can't make a decision and get myself stuck inside there...
sometime, i don't really understand myself, even recognize my own self...
i wondering why i will suffer for all this
is that the thing that will be go through a life?
or i just a normal person, too normal person to understand what is life real meaning
if all the person know who i am...
and i believe all of them say that i like to 'blow water' a, 'sell fish' a, or such thing like that...
and i do believe i act like that sometime....
because of this, i become lack of confidence, lack of humor, and become 'la ta' a...
i have see through all my weakness
should i change those bad habit?
it sometime really hard to make the decision...
i have think that inner is the hardest thing to change...
if i don't change it now, i might be regret for my whole life...

therefore, at the end
i will try to change
change as much as possible...
let those people see a different of me
only inner, about outer i not very sure can change
but, i believe many people will tell me their formula to become 'pretty' again... hehez
what i can say here
i will try my best to achieve it
and i will not try to let those people that believe i can down...

hereby, i wish all the people who read this passage and would like to change themselves also
will achieve their dream.... make your dream become your life, make it more challenging...
so, Gambateh... and strike for it